Are you the one who looked longingly at the older girls. Willing yourself to skip to 30 immediately? Or was that 11 year old you?
In any case here you are. 30 year old you. It really does get better by the way. Just the way you thought it would. 28 was when you stopped looking forward waiting for what was next. And just being here. Now. Loving almost every minute of crazy. Not without bumps but mostly smooth sailing.
Today 30 year old you had an early breakfast meeting. Doesn't that sound glamorous and a little important. Well it's kind of great. For the last 5 years you worked really hard, you're career driven but I'm pretty sure you already know that by nine. Or at least the idea of success and what you expect from it. You've built some great relationships in the industry. It's what you love best about your job….so don't worry about all that awkward time in junior high or high school. I guess elementary school was a little bit tough too. Well don't worry about any of it. The friends came late but strong and plentiful.
After your work breakfast you had a job walk for a project you are going to run and after that you hopped on one of the old school trains that run on the Market St. corridor to the next meeting at the a company whose headquarters you just built.
By the way you run the next meeting. You influence and direct and keep it on track. You answer questions. You ask the right ones and maybe try and tell a joke because sometimes it gets a little serious. Honestly…they only laugh sometimes but actually you're not too worried about it. You're right where you wanted to be for so long and maybe even a little ahead so you're kind of ok with most of it.
Two more meetings and at one o'clock you grab a quick lunch and walk back to your office. It's sunny and warm out. You're wearing a grey silk tank, black skinny jeans and a black blazer. You have a cute black leather bag with your work files flung over your shoulder and ok you are wearing flats, not the heels you always planned to live in but you wore the 4 inch ones yesterday and need a break. And anyway these are cute. I'm sorry to tell you despite all endeavors to have straight hair this morning a slight humidity in the air has you all in curls. But you're kind of over it. That's what 30 is about.
You're 30 and just rocking it because right about now is when you realize perception is reality. It means as long as you are perceived as confident that's everyone's own reality of you. They don't know any different. Good. The hair, we kind of knew around 16 probably we weren't ever going to get it right.
But the skin gets better…and then it gets worse. But you can afford real makeup so no worries.
You did get your first $20 off botox email offer today. Scary.
After work you grabbed a drink with a coworker and then walked home through Hayes Valley to your apartment. You're eating leftovers for dinner and about to settle in to watch the West Wing (it's been kind of a thing lately). And during all this reflecting on a good day. One of many. Right now you're thinking everything will be better when you have you're drivers license. If you had different clothes. More friends. But all that gets better.
I'll be back but today was kind of kick ass so I wanted to share it with you, because I know you're having a tough time right now.
xoxo
30 year old you.
PS The movies where the popular kids are losers later in life is about 75% true. So for now take solace in that.
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