Just last Monday, while watching daytime television on my "day off" I realized my American cheese habit isn't so bad. While American cheese is called cheese but really isn't - although I can't tell you what it really is and would prefer no to think about it - the fact of the matter is in some forms it still resembles what it is suppoese to be akin to (sliced cheese).
Just because Kraft thought I might prefer not to cut it up myself and individually packaged them for my convenience does not make it resemble cheese any less. However, never have I thought to buy Cheese Whiz, which perhaps makes me a little bit of a snob. I just don't want to squirt my cheese onto crackers. I want it to start in a solid form so that I can - after I have unwrapped several slices, toasted bread and buttered a pan - feel like I actually worked for my gooey grilled cheese sandwich. Where would the satisfaction lie if you just squirted some cheese whiz onto bread and had an instant grilled cheese. This brings me back to last Monday and the revelation that while I unwrap individual packets of american cheese and hastily throw away the wrappers so that my roommates can't count how many slices went into a given sandwich, someone is squirting not cheese but waffle batter onto a hot griddle and instantly, without more than a mere shake of the can, has a perfect waffle 3 minutes later (actual directions as follows...Shake, Point, Blast, Cook). It's called Batter Blaster and if you haven't seen the extended commercial for it please click on the following link for a demo video that has auto replay in case your mind goes too numb to hit play a second time.
http://www.batterblaster.com/
What's next Hambuger Blaster? Ew sorry that's disgusting but okay if they come up with that just remember where you heard it first.
So anyway you can see why I might think the end of the world is near.
Speaking of prophesizing the end of the world I just started reading "Under the Banner of Heaven" and while all of me says read this it will be interesting I am only 3 chapters in and I am already so horrified I just don't know if I need to read the rest of it. Its like trying to take your eyes of off a car crash though and so I will probably finish it or at least try until it hurts too bad and finally I will revert back to some piece of trash novel that makes me want to go shoe shopping and start a family and then I will - instead of having nightmares about incest, teen pregnancy and religious manipulation - dream of making perfect fluffy waffles without even breaking a sweat and that is how I will get my children to love me.
By the way... Batter Blaster is organic. Do what you will with that information.
*This is not endorsed by Batter Blaster, nor is it intended to recommend its use in anyway. In fact, use at your own risk.
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