Tank Top Tans, Denim Shorts and the Rat Tail…It’s all becoming too okay

Oh how I miss Polo shirts, khaki shorts and boat shoes. I miss a haircut without the weird long fringe at the back. I got my haircut a couple of days ago by Jade my British roommate and hairdresser who, when it got dark outside had to use a headlamp to cut my hair. Anyway she set up shop and went to town on our entire room. So before leaving for 3 days of camping on the beach with no showers our entire group was well groomed. Fraser Island is the largest sand island in the world. So the drill is they set you up with a big fourwheel drive car (pictured above) and camping gear and off you go to get stuck in sand dunes and go swimming in lakes and get your bag ripped apart by a dingo because you forgot you had a fruit and nut chocolate bar in it – fat kid here - and left it out in the middle of camp. You also get to pay $5 for a small bag of ice, get third degree burns on the bottom of your feet pushing your car out of the sand, also you get to wash your dishes in the sea with sand…actually this is really fun and I would do it all the time if I lived on the beach… and not shower for 3 days. But actually none of that matters because it’s pretty much an amazing time. I got to sleep under the stars and have the beach to myself at sunrise and I met a few nice Brits, Danes, Swedes and Swiss in the process.

The East Coast is almost over with, I’ll be in Brisbane in a couple days. Noosa is nice, I was informed yesterday that I came here when I was 7 but that’s why you never take a 7 year old anywhere. I like Noosa, pretty sure because it reminds me of home and as I missed Thanksgiving with my family, friends and the food, so I am allowed to like it for that reason alone. I know you were wondering and yes I have entirely given up on Eat, Pray, Love maybe when I am finished with Around the World in 80 Days I will give it another go. But the latter is excellent, and not just because David Niven (one of my favorite actors ever, sorry Michael) played Phileaus Fogg in the original movie.

Hope you had a good Thanksgiving, I ate PB&J's for everymeal on Thursday while you were feasting on turkey, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes and if you were at a Krikorian Thanksgiving probably some hummus and rice too. So you can be thankful for that!!

My Day Off

It's Monday morning and I brushed my teeth at 11am. My "day off" that I have incurred as a result of the current economic downturn - the same economic downturn I thought couldn't touch me with a 10' pole - is Monday. At first I was extremely upset about the day off, among other things it stifles my ability do my job the way I would like and, of course, comes with a 20% pay-cut. But now I am working towards embracing some of the things it allows me to do. And after all I still have a job. 

The perks of having Mondays off include of course brushing my teeth as late in the day as I want. No one else is around to smell my foul breath, and besides I wake up around 10am with no where to go. I have also taken to shaving my legs twice a week (does it alarm you that it was previously once a week, saying it out loud kind of alarms me), I have more time in the shower these days so in addition to shaving I also exfoliate my feet on Mondays which is nice since pedicures were the first thing to go with the pay cut. Also Monday is a great day to do laundry, clean up the apartment and what I am far more likely to do which is watch TV all day - like right now for instance I am watching Sabrina; Pretty in Pink is on next, maybe Molly Ringwald will inspire me to make my own clothes thereby helping me to live on my now smaller budget!- And there it is; the rationale of a someone who is actually sore from being in bed pretty much for the last 24 hours. 

Well Pretty in Pink is calling me as is the american cheese in my refrigerator. Can someone please tell me who thought Molly should be the it girl of the 80's, I don't get it.

Union Street Festival/ Insomnia

I am not happy about this. It is 2:30 am, my head hurts and I can't sleep. But I guess that's what I get for drinking all day as if I was still in college; when I never used to get tired or hangovers. Back then God didn't punish me for drinking a fifth of Popov (woof) with little more than a piece of toast to tide me over. I could wake up and go to class after sleeping for two hours. I didn't get that puffy residual drunk look that is so common to me now after a day of drinking in the sun. Dear God why the change of heart? Is it because you want me to grow up and be an adult or because you have finally realized I am never going to join your team? Is this the same reason you have finally allowed my cheese habit to catch up with me and why when I went through all of adolescence zit free you have finally decided to curse me with adult acne? Who knew you were as vindictive as me. I forgive you all this if you would just let me sleep right now.

So yesterday (as in several hours ago) was San Francisco's annual Union street festival. There are several of these festivals during the season. For your reference please search Folsom street festival images. The morning started at LM's friends house at Greenwich and Laguna but in an effort to actually see the festival instead of skirt around it all day attending parties in the area we headed to union to wander around before things got too crazy. Fairly typical street fair but add more drunks than usual and less music. Seriously the amount of live entertainment was a little disappointing, although above average people watching really filled the gap. We headed over to a friends friends apartment that was in the thick of it but ended up at the wrong party. How we found this place I don't know but it was a frat house in the middle of San Francisco. Literally reminded me of a pike house in SLO. It was wall to wall people, men in tank tops and acrylic nails everywhere. I was given a stamp that says friends which I am sure when I finally do fall asleep and wake up will be on my forehead. So we finally find our friends but the apartment is out of beer so we agree to go to the Bus Stop where there is a huge line which we don't want to wait in so we walk around the side of the bar to the back entrance where for no bribe at all you can walk right in. Genius. 

My friend John Tuttle, is saving us a table and when he sees us he stands on the bench to greet us and low and behold two naked white legs. He is wearing short shorts and has a popped collar. I don't know Tuttle are you pretending to be one of them or are you actually one? We finally agree sitting inside a bar on a sunny SF day at a street festival seems wrong and so decide to explore which really means eat some food and 20 minutes later head back to the house party with fresh cold 18 pack in hand. The house has a beer bong tied to the stair railing and a beirut table set up in the living room. I love both of these things (but when am I going to grow up?) I walked home alone at around 7:30 p.m. up Union to Hyde. I almost died walking up the hill and if you think I am exaggerating then you A. don't live in San Francisco and B. Didn't know what I didn't tell you which is at the fair I ate a chicken skewer with the meat of half a whole chicken, Pad Thai, a hot dog, and 2 slices of pizza. I wasn't going to tell you because I am trying to pretend it never happened. I can feel you judging me right now...just stop that's what I have God for. Anyway I hop on the cable car at Hyde (thank god) and I am home and in bed by 8:30 p.m.. But not before I can text several friends to let them know I will be going out in 2 hours which is pretty adorable if you think about it since I woke up at 1 a.m. trying to figure out where I was.

Still can't sleep, I think I will watch the last episode of Parks and Recreation. If you haven't seen it go to hulu and watch it. It is genius, I hope they don't cancel it next season.

Hot Mess Moment – Effing Donuts…

So I have decided to come clean, be honest about my secret envy of girls who are anorexic- oh hell, how about girls who have self control. Like the one who doesn’t eat the bread at the table and only half of her oversized dinner. I envy these girls so much I make comments like “I could look like that if I didn’t eat” or “she looks hungry” or “Her coke habit was the best thing that ever happened to her” or the even more cleverly disguised “I am concerned about so and so, I think she might have an eating disorder…” concern my ass I just really want to be her.

But it turns out I am not. In 2004 a “Mya” was a term, dubbed by my freshman year college newly found friends, for a shot of alcohol that I poured…it was usually about half of a highball glass and took you between 2 and 3 gulps to take. The size was completely discriminate and based upon several criteria including whether or not I liked you, whether you shook your head about wanting to take one or manned up, how drunk I wanted you to be and how drunk I already was. So I am sure you can see why I look upon this dubbing fondly. In 2009 the term has changed slightly. “Pulling a Mya” as it turns out is when one eats miniscule piece of something she really shouldn’t be eating any of. Several minutes, hours or in some very extreme cases a day later goes back for SOME more or over several miniscule pieces finishes the remainder of said item. For example my male coworker brings extra donuts down from his safety meeting and Jeremy goes and takes half of a donut in an attempt to restrain himself. 10 minutes later Jeremy announces he is “pulling a Mya” and goes back for the other half. Right…. Fucking humiliating when my 6 bottomless pit male coworkers have decided you have done this enough times for the entire act to carry your name for life. Now you know Jennifer Aniston would never… but hello Brittany you’re lucky I got stuck with it first.  But then again "The Brittany" is much much worse.