I Only Complain in an Effort Make the World a Better Place

So today, against my better judgement, I went to the Safeway Deli and ordered a sandwich. Without fail I always end up wishing I had just gotten their sushi which is very good and reasonably priced. But no I went ahead and risked it with the unfailingly mindless deli workers that must cheat on their job interviews to get said position. Hiring deli workers SHOULD be an art. A sandwich artisan should be passionate about making sandwiches. They should make each and every sandwich with love because you can totally tell when they don't. This does not go for deli salads or meat slicing.

So I ordered a turkey sandwich on a sour roll, mayo, lettuce and provolone cheese, this is my heaven, I could live on them. Deli Boy brings me 3 different rolls to choose from. Okay I said sour roll and now you are confusing me. I choose one. Oh by the way I ordered a half sandwich which apparently you should never do. The roll I chose isn't big enough to make a whole sandwich but a 1/2" too big for a half sandwich...apparently. Because he cuts of a 1/2" from the end of the roll and chucks it in the trash can. Let me be clear in full scale he cut off

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that much. Like really. No really. Seriously. People are starving (like me who wants to get as much half sandwich for my money as I can) and he cuts off .002 cents worth of bread and throws it away. So I gave him a death stare and rolled my eyes, so then he felt stupid which is exactly what I wanted - not so HE feels bad about himself but so he never does that to anyone else again, see I am making the world a better place. Which I will probably go to hell for but so be it -

Anyway I wanted mayo, turkey, lettuce and provolone. Maybe if I had sang it he would have remembered it the first three times. The mayo spatula had avocado on it left over from the last guys sandwich which I suspect he thought was a favor since they charge what like $2.00 these days for one spread of it. Really though?

And earlier this week, after taking an awesome photography class in beautiful Palo Alto I went and had a similar sandwich where in the middle of my second bite my waiter brought me my check. Ummmmm, he is lucky I was busy chewing I am sure that was all part of his strategy though. I had planned on enjoying the warm afternoon with coffee and dessert but apparently that isn't allowed at this restaurant. Is this God telling me to layoff the Turkey?

So instead I walked across the street to a self serve frozen yogurt place. Apparently I self served myself into lethargy because as soon as I got home I took a nap... at 4:45 which was helpful because I wanted to stay up pretty much all night watching infomercials in an attempt to fall asleep. This is the waiter's fault.

PS I tried to find a hot deli worker pic to post with this so you had something to oogle while reading my rants. "Hot Deli Worker" when googled turned up images of Lindsay Lohan which is baffling.